If it were not for loving you
by yumeyana
Summary: [SanadaAtobe] I knew I was a fool - an idiot - to succumb to your wishes. But somewhere along the road of life, something happened. And I could've said 'no', if it were not for loving you...


**Author's Notes:** My first attempt at a SanaAto. I actually planned this to be a stand-alone fic but the muses told me otherwise. So, I will write two prequels to this: one for Sanada and one for Atobe. And if I am inspired enough and the wonderful muses haven't left me yet, I will write a final installment to this. I hope you like it.

**Disclaimers:** All Tenipuri characters belong to the wonderful and talented Takeshi Konomi. Only the plot is mine.

**Dedication:** To Reeza, who loves Sanada and Atobe – whether together or not.

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_**If it were not for loving you**_

**__**

Sanada Genichiroh and Atobe Keigo were childhood friends and at first, it wasn't because they wanted to be. It was just because their families were business partners and friends as well.

However, as time went by, Genichiroh and Keigo found that they had the same interest and talent in tennis. This was the start of their friendship, if one would ask the darker haired lad. But for Keigo, this was the only thing they would ever agree upon.

Time passed by quickly. They started as childhood friends, grew to be tennis rivals until they reached their University years, and finally partners in the businesses that they were heir to.

For Keigo, his tennis rival gradually became a friend.

For Genichiroh, however, the friendship grew to something more.

* * *

Genichiroh sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair. He was a fool. He let Keigo use him to forget about his ex-boyfriend. He let Keigo kiss him, touch him, invade him – with the complete knowledge that _he_ wasn't the one his childhood friend was thinking about making love to. But he let him do so nonetheless.

Golden brown eyes traveled towards the body beside him. Keigo's eyes were closed, lips parted slightly, hair a little tousled as an evidence of what transpired between them earlier that night.

_Keigo was in his bar the moment he stepped inside his house. He raised an eyebrow – a question to why the other was there. However, only a smirk was the answer. _

"_Drink with me," Keigo said, commanding my servants to bring more wine._

_Curious, Genichiroh sat with him, accepting the wine. "Why are you here?"_

_His companion evaded the question and began to narrate things that happened all throughout the day. But Genichiroh knew better. Everytime his best friend did this, it was because something happened between him and his boyfriend, Akutagawa Jiroh. _

"The new models are actually quite hot and–" 

"_What happened between you and Akutagawa?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

_Genichiroh's eyes locked with his friend's. "Stop playing games with me. You know what I'm talking about."_

_Keigo was silent for a moment as he stopped twirling his glass. "He's gone."_

_His eyes softened, no words coming out from his mouth. He did not know what say – he had never been particularly good with emotions and words. He just watched as Keigo's hand tightened around the wineglass, eyes closed – most probably trying his best not to cry. But Genichiroh knew that this person never cried._

_He was actually torn between comforting Keigo and telling him that it was his fault that Akutagawa had left him. Keigo had taken his ex-boyfriend for granted – flirting with other people even when said man was around. But Keigo had never been good at making someone feel loved even if he loved that person. And the truth was, Atobe Keigo loved Akutagawa Jiroh. _

_Genichiroh didn't know if putting his hand on his best friend's shoulder was enough to make him know that he cared – that he was there – but he did so anyway. "Keigo, it's—"_

_But his words barely made it out of his mouth when in one swift move, Keigo managed to trap Genichiroh's head between his hands and put his lips on his. _

_He tried to push Keigo away – it wasn't right. Keigo was only using him to forget Akutagawa's departure. But the latter was persistent as his tongue pried his lips open for entrance. _

"_Kei—"_

_There was desperation in Keigo's eyes._

"_Just this once, Genichiroh. Make me forget."_

_And he knew he couldn't say 'no'._

How could he be so stupid? How could he not go against what Keigo wanted? He could've used his height advantage – but no! – he let Keigo have his way.

Why?

He brushed the stray strand of hair on Keigo's eyes.

Why could he not say 'no' to him?

He buried his nose on his best friend's hair, arms encircling Keigo. He knew deep in his heart that it was just right for this person to suffer – he had wounded Akutagawa so much. But some part of him resisted the idea. Some part of him wanted to protect this man from the ache, the pain that his former boyfriend's departure had caused.

For in that some part of him laid the answer to his prior questions.

Somewhere along the way, he had fallen in love with Atobe Keigo.

But Keigo didn't love him. Keigo didn't feel anything for him. Keigo never even asked him for help or anything – may it be regarding the company or anything else.

Perhaps that was why when the smaller man had asked him to make him forget, he agreed.

Genichiroh knew that no matter how he looked at it or justified it, he was stupid. He was a nincompoop. He was an idiot to let Keigo have his way.

But he didn't care.

He loved Keigo. He could sacrifice everything – heart, body and life included – if it would make Keigo happy. For – cliché it may sound – whatever made him happy, made Genichiroh happy as well.

He loved Keigo and that was enough an explanation for his stupidity.

* * *

Owari

30Au04 :: 10:10p:: 860 words


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